as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
