Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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