so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
