Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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