U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
