well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
