Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
we should paint friendship bongs
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