Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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