This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
