its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
