I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
