you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
