trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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