Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize