I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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