I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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