no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
