I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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