What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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