he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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