I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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