He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
