fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
