Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
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Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
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also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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