I've blown a few things in my day
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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