I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I look better un-naked...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
