Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
