i just made my gag reflex go away.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
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