When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
