Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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