oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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