I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
