I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Quick, to the slutcave!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
