woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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