If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
