Dual....:-)
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
