The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
