party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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