Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize