Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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