I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
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