wat bout pragnant strippers??
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
