I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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