I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just gift wrapped bread.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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