would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
