Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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