i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
