Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
