so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
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I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
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I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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