just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize