how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
