I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
