I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
