its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
