Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
