I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
another moral hangover. fuck.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
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i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
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Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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