I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
