you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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