I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
