I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
